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Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Stranger


I looked behind. There he was, standing. I knew him from the days when he was not a stranger to me, I knew the exact count of his breath in a day. Not much time has passed but he looks like a stranger now. I am still the same, his face hasn't changed either but there is a peculiar uniqueness to it. Time has changed. The old times are getting older I realized. Letters and photographs can be buried but how to fix up the memories. And I still meet him alone at the back of my mind. I meet him every day but today this is not him but a stranger standing before me.
He queried " how are you?" and shook hands with me.
I suddenly went back in time when he had hugged me and I thought about the love he had for me but somewhere deep inside my heart, I heard him saying "don't go away" and not "stay here with me". That made the difference. The feeling lacked in love but was filled with caution and fear. My mind absconded for hours and days trying to find out the answer "does he really love me?".
There he said again: "how the things have been with you?"
I tried to control the big tides inside me and said " it’s a pleasure to see you here. Thanks I am doing good, how are you?"
He smiled. but the smile, the smile was still somewhere same that I loved to see the most on his face along with some sparkle, I believe, I left to him to help him live and not fear.
He asked "what are you doing these days? still enjoying your life or have gotten yourself into some serious stuff?"
I remember the last time when I tried hard to agree on everything he said and put great effort to make all my "No" into "yes". He tried same as well. But this is not a sketchbook where one can paint everything as one wishes to. And hence even if we looked alike, we were different from each other. And we both understand this well now.
I smiled back, and said: "I still enjoy Laughing badly and crying easily." we both laughed together.

"I am getting late for somewhere. I have to rush now." I uttered. The words spoken were less but their burden inside was much. Nothing much was said and done.
I walked away but fell at a distance, he suddenly moved his foot forward but a stranger helped me in getting up. He turned back and walked away and I took my way.
Tonight, while lying on bed, I realized I was living in an era passed way back. It is the time and the destiny that make people meet and leave, that create gap and fill it as well. A person who was so dear to me before, looked a total stranger today and a stranger seemed more friendly. The pillow is still wet, but I let the tears fall down forever!
Every end is not unhappy, this is the right time to move on...

25 comments:

  1. Yes. Move on. Nice piece of fiction, I believe?

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  2. ThanQ holy Lama.. I do believe it to be a piece of fiction too :P :)

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Very nice piece...
    My fav part "i heard him saying "don't go away" and not "stay here with me". That made the difference."
    it's true, that strangers become your ppl and ones who you thought your own go far away inside, then there's a 3rd category who you never figure out if they're familiar or stranger

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  5. excellent! i likes... :) most catchy line - "He smiled. but the smile, the smile was still somewhere same that i loved to see the most on his face"

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  6. Good piece of work shesha :) but i feel its not fiction but an experience put into words very beautifully...anyway "raaz ko hi rehne do koi naam na do"

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  7. well said., move on..to move on for the next place to rest ur head...as we always need a place to rest our head..whether it is a pillow or somebody's shoulder.. well placed emotional package!!!

    http://artists.letssingit.com/onerepublic-lyrics-made-for-you-tkqcqkx
    nice song 'made for u' ....in the same direction.......'marchin on'
    http://artists.letssingit.com/onerepublic-lyrics-marchin-on-9tq8dg6

    lines to mind.....but I let the tears fall down. forever!

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  8. What a coincidence!!! i wrote a similar story. check it out here:
    http://sugatchaturvedi.blogspot.com/2010/11/sad-tail.html

    and feel free to comment :)

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  9. Shweta- ThanQ so much.. I find it exciting to see that everyone around me is actually thinking of a fiction as a reality i.e. falsely portrayed as fiction.. That makes the effort worth and successful.. :)

    Pratibh- ThanQ for appreciating and motivating me to write further. Thanks for sharing the lines u liked most.

    I loved the lyrics.. :)

    Sugat-- I am gonna take your case now.. Rofl :P

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  10. Yeah, whether its a fiction or a reality...this is true. Weird are the ways, the once familiar person becomes a stranger. There would be days when you could feel the person beside you and the warmth even when away, and later a stranger cold and unknown even in close proximity. We fail to recognize....but move on!!

    Excellent narration Shesha. It was moving.

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  11. Absolutely true, such is a life....
    ThanQ for appreciating the post..

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  12. Hey,

    Nicely written. But I would like to be a critic here to point out a certain facts as I see a potential writer in you.
    Firstly, don't try to write sentences and follow them up with he said, I said and then I thought.
    Instead, use different colors for different people's sentences It not only gives a better feel towards the write-up but also gives a sense of continuity which is pleasing to read.
    Secondly, if you are planning to write a subsequent part to this, leave your readers at the end with open interpretations, or wondering about what to do next.

    All in all, a good piece of work, with a potential writer behind it. Good luck.

    Check out this story to go through the points I made, you'll surely like this :)

    Darkness: unseen or foreseen?

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  13. I am not sure if this is a fiction.. what ever it is, it seemed to be written from deep inside, with lot of pain and passion

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  14. Oops.. forgot to mention that I liked it.. every word in it.. (It connects i guess ;)

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  15. Animesh Ganguly :
    Hey, Thanks for visiting and highlighting the weak portions of the narrations. I agree with u, that, we don't necessarily need to write 'he/she said' everytime. But i guess the portion was so small, i wrote it once or twice."

    I admit that i have made similar mistake in the last fictional post, which when i read, i realized, was breaking the continuity. So i tried to rectify my story telling errors. :)

    I wrote this in a flow, never occured to me, except once that i can write a subsequent part to this particular fiction! I just tried to present a perspective on how life changes sometimes for some through a fictional narration. I will write something, if it strikes my mind.

    Thankyou for your valuable suggestions, i will surely pay heed next time. :)

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  16. KP
    I love it when anyone tell me, that they are not sure about this piece of writing being a fiction. It makes the effort successful, and i trust my mind more each time for the thought and the story it has given me. ;)
    ThanQ so much for appreciating the efforts. It means a lot!

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  17. very well written....
    Yes life means to move on and try to forget what happened earlier.

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  18. Unknown Yepp Life means progression, developing insight, forgetting the past, learning from mistakes, enjoying the present. It may be difficult for some but not unattainable task. In the end, its the survival of the fittest. On who leaves can live and one who keeps will crib! Isn't it? :)
    Thanks for dropping by.

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  19. You should better take a look at some great writing apps that would be a nice help for every writer

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Thankyou for your feedback :)

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