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Wednesday, August 26, 2015

A lesson from my Grandma
Nani (my grandma) always taught my mother never to look down and talk low of others. One's inconsideration and self-pride can anytime turn those blessings that one has into distress. She had a few real life stories behind her teachings that had strengthened our faith in karma and imbibed good values in us.  Today I am sharing one such story I heard as a kid about her neighbors. 

Before I narrate her story, I would like to remind my readers about Indian desperation for a male child over female. While a bride is worshiped as Goddess Lakshmi (the goddess of material possessions), a daughter was (and is still in some parts of India) considered to be a liability and stigma on the manhood of a father. Sons on the other hand have been seen as successors of the family, the name takers. Hence in many orthodox families having sons was (is) the matter of pride. 

When my nani was a child, having two younger sisters and no brother yet, her neighbor used to boast about having sons. He, filled with pride, talked aloud about how fortunate he was with 3 sons and how unkind God was to those who have none. Nani’s mother (my great-grandma) never paid heed to him and advised her daughters to turn deaf to his blustering. She always focused on the education of her daughters and treated them as a blessing from almighty. 
As time passed, she became mother again twice and both were sons. Life went on, and neighbor still had this habit of looking down at these three daughters, but none of them ever said anything to him. All five kids grew up with decent lives to look forward with respectable careers.  On the other hand the haughty and arrogant neighbor witnessed a tragic life. 
His eldest son developed mental retardation (reason unknown) and one night ran away from home to be never found again. The second son died in a car accident. The third one lived a very mediocre life with many struggles and never got married.

No one among us knows our future, how worthy or terrible our lives are going to be. Hence before judging or making derogatory remarks on somebody out of superiority, one should always think about the uncertainty life brings to us at each step.

A happy life can only be enjoyed by the kind people having good virtue.
What do you think? Do you believe in Karma? Do you know any such stories? 
Images from google


  1. Indian desperation for a male child is world famous I don't think you needed to remind the readers at large :-) and a nice post to start the day :-)

  2. I would like to say here that desperation for male child is not restricted to India, male children/employees/bosses are preferred by various cultures across the globe including our neighbour China and even in developed countries like US, the stories in African and gulf nations is as expected. Unfortunately, such inequalities becoming more glaring in a poorer and more populous country even if cultural setup is almost similar. Indian culture has been far more advanced than any other, you only have to look back at ancient Indian culture to see where women stood in that society and compare that with positions of women in other countries at that time and you'll see my point.
    So, rather than pointing out all faults as Indian faults we should look at the world at large and stand strong in face of any kind of evil anywhere.
    All in all, a very important and well narrated story, thanks for sharing!

    1. Yes Rochana I think more or less people across the globe faced and fought for the similar issues. However I marked India here because the focus was on orthodox Indian families. While developed world has evolved to more complex psychological problems a portion of india is still fighting for the basic human rights. Ofcourse I see every country has its problems and no where we should talk lowly of the place we belong to but should be open to healthy criticism to bring the change. Thankyou for appreciating the write up! :)

  3. My mom are three sisters, she has two daughters and we as a family take pride in our women strength. I am grateful to be brought up in a family where both my maternal and paternal grandparents made no difference whatsoever in a girl or a boy!
    Great post!

    1. Thanks Aditi for bringing this out. Yes I see no point in why a household comprising of women in majority should feel otherwise. We are humans, working, eating, thinking alike what's the point in gender discrimination. Even my father has a family of sisters and see how much all of them are pampered. Likewise it is with us, I have never heard of any sort of such discrimination in my immediate family from both the sides!
      I am delighted you enjoyed the read :)

  4. Hello, very interesting post and surely you have touched on a very important subject --- gender discrimination.

    I think in cities this discrimination is much less than in villages. In cities where people are educated they don't care much whether they have a girl child or male child. ]

    In villages where illiteracy is rampant and where the vast majority are poor, people want male children. The reason is male children can do hard work and earn money for their families. Besides, people is villages are worried about paying dowry to get their daughters married.

    I enjoyed reading your true life story. It is real. I happens in India.

    I am not sure about Karma but perhaps every action has a reaction. What we talk about others may come back to haunt us. You can call it Karma, fate or Que Sera, sera, what will be ,will be.

    However, when we talk about Karma, there appears to be a defeatist attitude, a sort of negativity towards life.

    Excellent post.

    Best wishes

    1. Sir, yes comparatively in cities gender discrimination is much less yet they are not free from it.
      I don't consider Karma philosophy to be a defeatist attitude. In fact in my opinion it is an incentive to continue the good work. It somewhere helps us to ward off that negativity we develop for others in rage, jealousy, or a fit of revenge, while rest of the times it helps us to sail through difficult times patiently.
      Thank you so much for appreciating the post and sharing your thoughts over it :)


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  6. Karma! Be polite, down to earth and do good to others. You never know, how and when life will change.

  7. You have rightly summed it up - A happy life can only be enjoyed by the kind people having good virtue.

  8. I just read this post and would like to point out that in India it is only women who are suppressing other women. Like every mother stops her daughter or daughter in law to do some things she wants to do such as going out of the house after sunsets, travel alone (beta shaadi ke baad ghumna jitna ghumna hai) to name a few. It is lucky we are not born in such families because I tell you so many of my friends have been married for 2 3 years already and are planning to have kids when I'm just studying (I'm glad my parents trust me more than the society). So as women we only need to stand ourselves and support fellow women too. More power to us girls!

    Lovely post!

    1. Thanks Medha. Yes bias is everywhere, more or less. Some women life king size lives while some live very basic and marginalized lives. Its a shame that women despite being humans have to fight for equality.
      Sorry for replying late to the comment. I saw it today!


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